There was a time when we thought that frozen meals and microwaves were the future of food.  It was a dark, dark time children.  Look into hell’s freezer.

The stuff in the door is worrying enough.  Never trust food with the suffix “-ette”, and never, ever eat a complete dinner that comes in box.  Doesn’t the lamb dinner look divine?

The blurb goes, “Treat yourself to the break you deserve”.  Which makes me feel they must be aiming their food at people with very low self-esteem. “Home cooked meals when the cook’s not home.”  Is this ad targeting men in a more sexist age?  If so, I think it’s a flop.  We are of course entering the age where advertisers wanted us to believe we were too busy to cook and started trying to flog us premade meals.  Soon it would be the dawn of the microwave which promised to be the future of cooking but ended up being used to warm baby bottles, reheat left overs and soften butter.

New recipe rissoles… 90% less cat.

Here’s another ad I don’t get.  I feel like they’re trying to appeal to the intellectual mass produced beer drinker.  The kind that uses an hour glass to tell the time, and likes to paint his house in pastels. 

I  don’t know about you, but I feel that Brown O’Clock suggests something else, something to do with the toilet, but maybe that’s me.  Actually it probably is me because I just want to laugh at all the silly men I see in the 80s ads.  What about this guy trying to sell Visa cards?

Dude, your tie is tucked into your pants, and what the hell is that thing just behind your right arm?  Some kind of massive swirl of piped baby food?

Take the carnation out, lay off the bubbles, and get a Brown down your neck.  It’ll wash away the taste of the beefettes if nothing else.

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I wrote a book: https://www.seraphpress.co.nz/kaitiaki.html

2 thoughts on “Yikes”

  1. Like it was yesterday (and I swear it wasn’t — more like 1987), I can perfectly remember the taste of dehydrated mashed potatoes mixed with a tinge of hot aluminum from the microwave TV-dinners of yore.

    The hourglass beer ad seems like a tacky rip-off of a Salvador Dali painting.

  2. We often had boil in the bag things which had this really plasticky aftertaste. A lovely petroleum feel on the palette if you will. Why is it that food always looks terrible in science fiction movies? In the future we will be able to fly to Mars but our food will be crap and we’ll all wear jumpsuits. Really? Why?

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