Last of the International Playboys

New releases in New Zealand, 26 February 1989

Morrissey – Last of the International Playboys

One way that I used to get records was through the World Record Club.  It was quite a painful experience getting their catalogue because it was filled with hundreds of possibilities I couldn’t afford.  I would tick dozens of items and then whittle and whittle that list down to the one of two things I could actually afford to get.  In the age before YouTube and streaming there was no way to check if you would actually like the album that you had ordered.  Usually everything worked out ok, but sometimes you ended up with a record that was a dud.  That was pretty disappointing because money was scarce and there is a lot of waiting involved when you order by post.  The records, when they came, were in thick cardboard packing and it was insanely exciting opening them up and seeing the pristine LP covers for the first time.

One record I got from the World Record Club was a Smiths compilation (they released a lot of these) called The World Won’t Listen.  I got it because Smash Hits magazine kept talking about The Smiths but there was no Smiths in my record store, and none played on the radio.  When I got it I have to say it didn’t immediately grab me.  I loved Panic, Ask and Asleep, but nothing else.  It’s hard for me to believe this now because there are songs on that compilation that are among my all time favourite Smith’s songs: There is a Light That Never Goes Out and The Boy With the Thorn In His Side.  I guess all I can say is that it wasn’t quite to my taste in 1988/9.  That would change after 1990.

I went to uni in 1991.  The girlfriend of a friend of mine was very into The Smiths and The Cure. From about 1992 onwards I started buying Smiths albums on CD, and in 1995 hung out with a couple of people who loved them.  By this time Morrissey was well into his solo career.  In fact, the peak of his solo career was already passing and he was about to begin his long journey into night (by which I mean: becoming the hateful, right-wing arse hole he is today).

One of the people I hung around with in 1995 said that she thought my theme should be The Boy With the Thorn In His Side.  Sometimes, when I’m signing off emails, I write a mock title under my name: thorn in my own side.  It’s always struck me as accurate.  At the time I thought it was the last bit of that song that resonated most with me:

And when you want to live
How do you start?
Where do you go?
Who do you need to know?

That was 1995 and I was 22.  I was 22 and sensing that there was a big, wonderful world, and a big horrible world out there too, and that the difference was paper thin and how was one to know how to get to the right one?

Even though that was right about being 22, the rest of the lyrics are actually righter about me as a person.  Painfully accurate in fact.

The boy with the thorn in his side
Behind the hatred there lies
A plundering desire for love
How can they see the love in our eyes
And still they don’t believe us?

For a certain kind of person Morrissey wrote what you felt: validated it by expressing it.  He certainly did that for me.  There are lyrics that he wrote in The Smiths that are a wittier, more poignant version of things I said or thought, or wished I had said or thought.  He carried some of that into his early solo career.

Kāpiti College – Seventh Form, 1990

His decline has been long and unpleasant, and he now makes statements quite regularly that are nationalist and xenophobic.  He has always been very English.  Very wedded to the slightly naff, awfully suburban and mediocre post-imperial Britain he grew up in.  The past does not last though.  Even with my blend of nostalgia and contempt for the 70s and 80s of my child and teenage hood I do not want the present version of whatever it means to be young and from this country defended against the latest outsider.

I do happen to think that multiculturalism is very problematic, but not for the reasons that nationalists usually wang on about.  I think it’s problematic for the migrants.  Hard for the adults, and then very hard for their children.  Their children who grow up in two worlds, with two sets of values – one at home, and one outside home – and have to learn to negotiate the space between them; have to learn to be a third thing: neither the home, or the outside world but a person in transition.

Morrissey used to know about that.  I’m not sure where it went.


Paradise City is, let’s be fair, a great song.  The start is a bit lame, but everything after that is what G’N’R were good at: fast, furious, rock.  The lyrics this time are in the vein of Welcome to the Jungle – the dirty, competitive, everyone’s-out-to-get-you city and the people in it.

I don’t really like most of Billy Bragg’s music.  I ought to.  I have read his autobiography.  I like him as a person, and his politics, but his music I find mostly boring or it makes me cringe.  The Great Leap Forward makes me cringe.  The first song I heard by him was Levi Stubbs’ Tears which I absolutely love to this day.  There are other songs by him I like, and sometimes his lyrics really work.  A mixed bag then.  Even in this song – The Great Leap Forward – there are some good lines:

…the only noise I hear
Is the sound of someone stacking chairs
And mopping up spilt beer….

Mixing pop and politics he asks me what the use is

I offer him embarrassment and my usual excuses
While looking down the corridor
Out to where the van is waiting

Which is just a perfect moment of insight from a man who must have fielded plenty of depressing late night questions at the end of crummy gigs where every day is like Sunday.

  • Guns N’ Roses – Paradise City (8/10)
  • Billy Bragg – Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards (4/10)
  • Ruby Turner feat. Jimmy Ruffin – What Becomes of the Broken Hearted (5/10)
  • Simple Minds – Ballad of the Streets (2/10)
  • Morrissey – Last of the International Playboys (9/10)
  • Blondie – Denis (-/-)*

* Not new


This Is Your Land

New releases in the New Zealand charts: 4 June 1989

  • Morrissey – Interesting Drug
  • Bobby Brown – Every Little Step
  • Simple Minds – This is Your Land
  • Bon Jovi – I’ll Be There For You
  • Jody Watley – Real Love
  • The Stop the Violence Movement – Self Destruction

Even though it’s not a strong Morrissey song, it’s better than all the other songs.  Maybe.  Maybe not?

Although, this is certainly the most arresting image from all the videos:


I’ll wager there’s not a skerrick of fat on these young fellas.

I have spent a lot of time mocking the hair of white men from the 80s, but very little time providing the same service for black men.


The hi-top.  I didn’t know what it was called until I looked it up, but even in the few rap videos I’ve watched from 1989 it was a pretty popular hair style. When I think about it, my focus on hair metal has been a bit racist.  This is pretty remarkable:


But I think the hi-top is actually way more out there.

I know that it is superficial, but I never understood that hair styles had something to do with the type of hair you had, and that an afro, or corn rows, or dreadlocks, were not actually just a “fun” thing black people were into, but hairstyles that work to control a hair type.  To be perfectly frank I think it’s something I only really thought about in my 40s.  I feel embarrassed saying that but it’s true.  I suppose it’s a fairly healthy thing that I didn’t walk around touching other people’s hair, but less healthy that I just assumed everyone’s hair was more or less the same.  Turns out: no.  Some hair is wiry and stiff and has a will of its own.  Some hair is soft and wavy and goes where it drifts.

And some hair fucking falls out and leaves you with a bald spot.

The whole photo above weirds me out.  I think it’s because the man doing the haircut in the photo above is topless which makes me think a cascade of confusing and contradictory thoughts that begins like this: “why is it ok to look at a man’s breast and not a woman’s?” and ends with questioning all reality as a cultural construct (yes, I am great fun at parties).

Where were we?  Bobby Brown.  I believe the correct response is Bobby Brown, boo! hiss! because of Whitney, but I have not engaged with the Whitney story enough to know if his part in her fall is real or not.  I do know that the song is catchy but I don’t really like it.  Jody Watley’s song is not catchy but very similar sounding.  The big, abrasive drum sound was certainly in and has not aged well.  Like rap has not aged that well from that era.  Bobby’s effort is middling, and the Stop The Violence Movement only a bit better.  It doesn’t seem to have the flow that would come later.  It feels very clumsy and slow on the whole, and makes me appreciate Run DMC a whole lot more.

Now for the white music.  I think I can summarise it this way: Bon Jovi is exactly what you would expect a Bon Jovi ballad to be, Morrissey is exactly what you would expect a Morrissey song to be, and the Simple Minds song was better than I thought it would be.

I have very fond memories of singing “shot to the heart, and you’re to blame, you give love a bad name” with my mates in third form, but I’ve never been a big Bon Jovi fan.  I’ve never hated them either.  They’re quite good at their kind of thing, and it’s quite hard to be quite good at their kind of thing because it has been done so often.  Also, Jon has buckets of charisma and is pretty easy on the eye.  Listening to this song now though feels tiring and predictable.

Morrissey’s song is predictable too.  Well, the song is predictable and the video is just flat out odd.  Whilst I approve of the image of private school boys in uniform and high heels I have no idea what it means in relation to the lyrics, or why on earth we are getting a message about animal rights.  Again, I approve the message but can’t see the connection to the lyrics which are pretty average for Morrissey (so better than most), but which seem suitable to our present in 2019:

There are some bad people on the rise
They’re saving their own skins by
Ruining other people’s lives

Which leads me to the odd conclusion that the Simple Minds song might be the best song released in the week of 28 May, 1989 in New Zealand.  This makes it sound like I hate Simple Minds.  I don’t.  I view them like Queen: good up to a certain point in time, and then bad afterwards.  Belfast Child left deep awful scars on me and This is Your Land is from the same album: Street Fighting Years.  I first heard the band with the fantastic single Alive and Kicking and owned that album: Once Upon a Time.  In the category of “Why do I remember this but not other far, far more significant moments in my life?” I can vividly recall singing the chorus of Alive and Kicking in perfect time with me kicking a mate up the arse at playtime on the courts at intermediate.  My mate wasn’t impressed.  I felt bad: that I had kicked a bit hard, and that he hadn’t appreciated the joke.  The “joke” being timing the word “kicking” with the act of kicking someone up the arse which – on reflection – might not have been that funny.

This is Your Land.  It seems like it will be shit because the title is risky (nationalism) and because the music starts off super low key, uncatchy, and a bit pretentious.  The music doesn’t do much for some time, but begins to develop and build and the annoyingly vague lyrics seem to fit better as they go on.  Then we get to the final third where things lift considerably.

Having said that it’s only 6 out of 10 interesting in a poor week.

  • Morrissey – Interesting Drug (5/10)
  • Bobby Brown – Every Little Step (5/10)
  • Simple Minds – This is Your Land (6/10)
  • Bon Jovi – I’ll Be There For You (4/10)
  • Jody Watley – Real Love (4/10)
  • The Stop the Violence Movement – Self Destruction (4/10)